Wanders

Have you ever tried to feel something you're supposed to just to be normal?
Or you do it because you think you'll get used to it so it becomes natural?
but no matter how hard you try, you will always feel like you're faking it.
So you stop and get confused about what is actually in your heart.
Mess things up, and you now don't even know how to differentiate feelings and thoughts.
It sucks sometimes to be a person who "don't care" or "numb".
Because people would always say- follow your heart not your mind. I can't even distinguish them- how?
I know the answer, which is my mind is stronger than my heart.
Thats why I have always been sticking to my roots and opinions.
Even when I change them, I have a reason to do so.
My mind controls my feelings.
Behind my mind theres its guardian- my ego.
It sucks.
Poets write what they feel.
I write my thoughts so that it turns into feelings that I 'believe'.