maybe things are meant to be kept to yourself

maybe you should never express them to the right person

maybe hellopoetry is the only friend i have
maybe i should never post all those letters
maybe my love for you is lust
maybe even if i did tell you,
you would hate me again
maybe the world could be my witness
that this is true, and i am not making it up

but sacrifices should be made,
and i sacrifice this pain and feelings for you
not by showing, but by keeping it inside
until death rip it out of my heart
maybe i can never be the happiness to you
maybe i just suck since day 1

maybe you have even questioned God about my existence

i hope you find back your peace
and live your life as happy as eating cheese
may you forget all your bothering worries
i cant bear see you crying reminiscing of the things you miss

and i cant fix any of your cracks
im sorry i suck

Elide

Go away, please

time machine

and at night, 
i cry
thinking of the fact that i wont be bumping into you that much
in the future

and if one day im sitting in a cafe
drinking coffee and writing poems
and i see you at a table across the hall
trust me tears will fall off my face
because youre they best thing
that has ever happened in my life

dear
ill write a poem instead of saying hi
and drop it on your table before i leave
because thats what ive been doing all my life
but you never knew



u might as well want to visit my hellpoetry account (:

hellopoetry.com/afiqahmohammedisa

unstable (better version)

Unstable

I am confused
I am confused

As usual
Lets kill this thought
Lets kill this feeling

Because nobody is worth it
Like they are supposed to be

Carnations

Im hopeless romantic
Youre hopeless romantic

Youre my subject
your subject is her

im still hopeful

are you still hopeful?

im in awe of you

but shes your favourite work of art

tell me your hopes,

tell me out loud

Because we are both hopeless romantics

And if one day you come to my door with carnations
Instead of roses
I promise to insert your name
At the dedication part of my book

homies

i moved to a new place

i made friends

we brcame bestfriends

we laughed to the jokes only we understood

i tried to be cool

i tried to change the people i try to hangout with

i felt empty

it doesnt feel right

youll realise at the end of the day

its still your bunch of idiots who would crack you up

to stupid jokes that never made sense

the jokes that made the people i tried to hang out with annoyed

the jokes they will never get

the jokes that could make us fart

or accidentally burst out the food in our mouths

because its too funny

and at the end of the day

it will always be them again.

friends,

you cant really choose which ones can make you happy

theyre sent by God

RESEARCH

honestly, 
being a detective or a researcher
was never my interest
but whoops
when it comes to you i could be more than that
no i dont like you
youre not the person i have feelings for
weirdly
since the first time i knew you were always interesting
i want to spend my whole life learning about you
like when i fail to find something new about you
i will not sleep that night
it disturbs me
it leaves me an uneasy feeling not knowing where you are
what youre doing or if youre fine.
if your heartaches has been healed
if you miss your parents and sisters
if you have a new pet cat
if youve just made a new amazing drawing

speaking of drawings, 
i know youre an awesome person who has that skill
that i dont have at all
but ive never seen any of it
i wish i could
i wish you would sent me atleast a photo of it

wow, you have no idea.
no i dont love you, 
youre just a subject im passionate about
like an astronaut who loves the space

Zam Newsroom Cafe

Zam Newsroom Cafe in Ayer8, Putrajaya is an amazing place for ppl eho love reading and chilling and friends even family. You can just sit there, shut the world off and do your work. Paint, read books, anything. However, i think its an alone place aswell. I only like to go there alone. So i can be myself. Its a cafe opened by a famous Malaysian journalist, Tan Sri Zainuddin something if im not mistaken. The lighting is relaxing, theres a miny library and the collection of books...  hdbdvdhsbfhbs (most of the books are abt Mahathir, Lee Kwan Yew and Karpal Singh) can u imagine how cool it is already? Theres like magazines, newspapers, hanging typewriters and a collection of spoons from all over the world! Oh yea he also sell all kinds of Magnum there. Im in love, very. I came there to do my assignment, guess what i end up going through the books until i decided to lepak with my friends at Teh Tarik Place 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💖💖💖💖💖💖

Ambition

Oh Afiqah,
Remember the days I swim daily
I was carefree
As if nothing could stop me from being what I wish to be.
Remember,Afiqah?

Oh Afiqah,
Remember the days where I hand paint almost everywhere
I collected rocks and made them alive
My parents never bought me plaster of paris or plasterciene, i just put water at the soil from the garden infront of my house, turn it into clay and make shapes out of it.
And then i painted them as well.
I remember mr.snail and dice.
Nobody could stop me, like the world is the most beautiful place ever.
Remember, Afiqah?

Oh Afiqah, remember I wanted to be a vetrinarian?
Because going to the zoo was always the best place to visit
Because my bestfriend was a cat named Cat
Because seeing animals die infront of me breaks my heart
Breaks me into pieces til I want to die with them
Remember Afiqah?

But being a national swimmer needs practice, and I have other things to do.
But being a famous artist needs creativity and peace, Im too busy to waste time.
But being a vet needs to be smart and hardworking, i am noy intelligent enough.

And Afiqah, do you remember when you blew your dreams away? Now what..?

(I used I because i want myself to remember)

Life to mee

Some days are halcyon
Some are stormy
Other days.. are forgotten

Sorry, take care, goodbye

Sorry i have been annoying you lately. No. I have been annoying you since the first time we even knew each other. I know i somehow seem to be like a psychopath how is obsessed with someone who has .. nothing? Its not like youre bloody rich, or fuckin good looking. Im sorry again. I hope i wontdo shit anymore. If im the reason you deleted your tumblr account and everything else. Have a nice life, Johnny boy