August Rants

Forsooth, being a youngster burns your soul through the days. I could never agree more about this. At this point of life, I've seen my friends do new stuffs and I won't deny that I do too. Not saying specifically, but generally everything. All I wanna do is go to new places and explore new hobbies and meeting new people. As if I have nothing to lose trying rather than staying in waiting for miracles to happen. I am blessed for a family and friends who supports me through this journey of mine in finding my true self and achieving every single dreams I have. At this exact point of this life that I'm living, the only thing I spare a thought for is the people I love that loves me too, the things I love that won't harm me and the memories I cherish now and forever.

Every now and then, I am reminded of the people in the past. Especially those two who gave me life, who raised me up before they moved to a better place. I often wonder if whatever I am doing now in my daily life would please them as parents if they're still around but all I ever want them to know is I am truly happy finding myself and I am trying my best to make everyone proud in my own way. 

Dear Ma & Pa, I am sorry if I am not as great as how you have taught me to be while I was growing up. Trust me, the education you have given me was the best I could ever get and I wouldn't ask for any more or less. It has made me who I am today with the principles I strongly hold on to at the back of my mind. Some people might think I am pretty liberal in my opinions, but know that I have faith and beliefs that I keep in me. Sometimes I get confused of being nice and non-judgmental with accepting a wrong action. But I think, holding on to a religion means being at peace with yourself and everything within. 

So to those people who wonder what kind of person I was, who I am and what kind of family I come from. I am someone who has beautiful parents who fed me with good food, religion and support. And up till this day, I still get the same thing from my family members except that it is done in their personal ways. 

I am Afiqah, I am free to hear any single opinions and arguments about myself or anything that is happening is the World. An opinion shared is better than a perspective planted. May He bless us with all the great things in life, like a calm soul and a thoughtful mind.

Truth

I used to have a subject, he was pretty.
He was the definition of beauty, with all the flaws I can clearly see.
I wrote galaxies and wonderlands, for the sake of speaking my mind
I wrote and wrote and only wrote for and about him
Every time I thought of writing, I thought of him
A living proof of love, heart eyes and passion.

After years of holding on to this subject,
I decided to face my fears
All the unsent letters I wrote for him and all the words I enjoyed writing
came to an end by a single confession
After all, dreams don't come through
They just disappear into thin air like the memories of things you thought you'd have forever

I miss having a subject sometimes
but now I live in peace
I guess now I understand the things I wrote myself
that Love was never about things that your mind speaks
but what the heart truly feels.

Blessings

I have been at peace with myself for more than half a year now and I cannot be anymore grateful. I'm done chasing unworthy things like people who no longer put effort in a friendship, all sorts of negative energy. I have my family with me and a bunch of good friends who supports me through it all. I do whatever I want, that makes me happy. Chasing dreams are easier than pleasing hearts ain't it? It gives me a better focus on my studies, my hobbies and passion and the things I truly love. I rationalize easily and I make better decisions. I don't know how long this would last, but even if it's going to be taken away soon, I'm gonna have to face it with an open heart. To those people I care for, I am always here if you need me. Always.