Hujan November

Jika aku harus membandingkan
Keindahan bumi ini
dengan ketenangan yang ada pada engkau
semestinya engkau akan memiliki kekalahan
Tapi jika kau haruskan pula aku 
Membandingkan engkau dengan semua ciptaan-Nya 
yang serupa bentuk badan sepertimu
percayalah sayang bahawa
engkaulah yang menggengam kemenangan
Malangnya
indahnya dunia tak sehebat kekufuran dan kesyaitanan
makhluk-makhluk bertangan kaki dua
Satu hati dan otak hanya tahu membinasakan
Oleh itu sayang,
sekarang aku hanya mampu menulis padamu
Surat yang pasti bakal dibakar terus
Sebelum sempat dipancar ke hadapan korneamu
Tentang air mataku
Yang kebanyakan waktunya mengalir deras
Seperti hujan di petang-petang bulan November Disember dan Januari.

later lover

Maybe I value our friendship too much
That I've never felt anything more than being friends in between us
What more making you my lover
Not all happily ever afters require two people to marry each other 
And ever after is still ten years later
It's beautiful
The ideas that you guys have about us
But we shall keep that for later
Because my future doesn't depend on a later lover.

Nasi Kukus Ayam Dara

Every puddle I avoided but somehow fell in it a bit, wet my shoes slowly and supposedly I hate it. The thought of wet socks and having to dry my shoes annoys me so much that I might even put them in the green trash bin. Especially when it's November rain water. This time, I cherish the moment of jumping over them and the feeling of water slowly soaking my feet gives me a chill that managed to put a smile on my face. The smell of fried marinated chicken and steamed rice hypnotized me towards your favorite stall. It reminds me of how we used to sit oppositely eating them while you smile looking at my ignorant face. It reminds me of the look on your face when the rice is too hot, but you're still trying to touch it. It reminds me of us. It reminds me of how I was a shitty girlfriend to you and only pain that I gave but you kept trying to touch my heart because you know deep inside I'm not what I choose to show. It reminds me that love can't be compared to a plate of Nasi Kukus Ayam Dara because when the cold breeze pass, the rice shall reduce its heat allowing you to eat it happily. Sadly love only knew how to give you pain, and then leave. So you could get another to touch and feel better. She said sorry she just had to leave. 

-She, who goes to the same stall for lunch ever since.

Faham Bahasa

Wahai engkau yang hadir dalam silamku, 
aku dah faham bahasa sekarang.
Kau tak perlu lagi caci atau anggap aku tak wujud sebab aku janji takkan pernah muncul depan penglihatan kau.
Wahai engkau yang pernah hadir dalam silamku,
Semoga hidup kau aman sentosa, 
Semoga dia kembali ke dalam dakapan kau
Semoga kau dicintai kembali oleh bidadari-bidadari kau sering puji seperti yang kau ingingkan.
Terima kasih, atas carutan yang telah ajar aku erti persahabatan.

Plot Twist

Perumitan plot terbesar kisah hidup dan cita-citamu adalah kematianmu sendiri.

(The biggest plot twist of your goals is death.)

Serupa seperti kisah-kisah lain yang kau cipta,
sudahkah kau menyediakan penyelesaian klimaks itu dan peleraian kisahmu, jika kematian?

Kau bersedia meninggalkan keindahan dunia yang penuh dengan harapan dan perasaan sekaligus,
tanpa pernah merasa kemanisan kekayaan impianmu?

Jikalau kau belum, aku juga belum.
Sebab mati itu dusta, kata dewa pencelaka bumi.
Maka kita pun terpedaya.

Passion

My face condition shows how hard I've been on myself lately. I thought life was lovely, so I enjoyed it but it failed me. So I forced myself to stay focus, stressed myself so things would actually work out the way it should. But it fucked up my insides instead. How much of a loser can I be? The things that makes me alive doesn't give me success and things that gives me money, destroys my happiness. I guess that's why there's a word called 'passion'. We have got to have passion in everything we do, and then set up goals.

A Bowl Of A Love Story

Rain drops on your sweater smells better
Cold morning breezes of Monday seems fresher
Waves that washes your feet at the beach feels cleaner
Walks under the hot Sun all yellow
Winds that creeps between your windows now lullabies
Cracks on your bedroom wall scares you no more
Mom's red curtains aren't blood from your wrists
Sisters strums of her out of tuned guitar is the source of your laughter
Stray kitten's eyes reminds you of your favourite constellation
Lousy poems vandalised on the class door sounds so magical
Honestly I don't know where this is going.
What I'm trying to say is that
Everything that used to bother you
Now puts a smile on your face
Just like how you used to tell me how she turned your day upside down
Randomly calling me bragging about fighting with a bitch who just existed
When I used to open the small section of my backpack after school
to find the notes you left for me when our periods clashes
so I read them at night and talk about it during recess the next day.
You hated her with all your heart darling
She shred the pieces of your mind
Challenged your ball of patience
Squished your guts into sand
But boy, like I said
Raindrops smells better now
You used to run under covers when it rains
Red was the definition of death to you
All I got to say is that
the thing that blown my mind and I am highly amazed in my whole life for now
is how she mixed the shredded pieces of your patience
the melted guts she squished
Together with the hatred
In a bowl of a love story.

Dear effort, I'm sorry.

I'm still not sure if I believe in efforts
because last time I checked
Effort didn't give butterflies in my belly
Effort didn't make me fall in love
it only taught me tolerance, consideration & respect
Effort didn't make my heart beat a little faster
Effort accompanied me through the lonely nights
listened to my stories about love
Effort didn't manage to make love jealous of him
Effort showed me how worth it and beautiful I am
Gave me everything I was supposed to be looking for
But no, I was only looking for love not effort
Effort couldn't make me fall for him as much as I fell for love
Effort failed to make me stay as I was and still am busy catching love
I can't be sorry for something I didn't ask for, effort
But thank you for giving me hope about love
Who knew if you could somehow help me get love
I'll still be running endlessly for love
That is endlessly running from me
Just in case if you see me tumbling and skinning my knee, help me please
I'd appreciate it if you come in my way and give a hand for me to get up and continue running
At least for a moment you get to hold me right?
However dear effort, I don't believe in you
I hope you don't blame me for that
because I swear it is all love and egos fault.

What's Up?

Remember those days when I bought almost all the gummies at the store near our school everyday? You would be that person who's gonna eat half of it and end up buying it as well until they run out of stock.
Remember when we were the only people who didn't finish our essay homework? We ended up copying from a essay compilation book that we had to share.
Remember when we fought over the spelling and pronunciation of a word in class? Our teacher ended up telling that we were both wrong.
Remember when we painted our class and I doodled on the walls. You complimented some of it not knowing that it was mine. It still make my day thinking of it.
Remember when our friends lied to me about you and wrote our names everywhere as if we were something? Well they ended up making us hate each other more than we should.
I don't know if you remember them, but all those little things back when we were way younger than we are now are the ones that makes me feel like having you as a friend was only good times. Even though, we actually had too many bad times together.
Boy be happy, because those little things you do in life is what makes you a great person.
I wouldn't mind you hating on me because of this, because I just want you to know your worth.

I'm just wondering what's going on in your life.

Tanah

Dulu kau sujud pada tanah yang suci
Hari ini tanah yang sama dah tak lagi suci kerana kau sudah lama tak sujud atasnya.

Berjabat Dengan Alam

Ku relakan diri dibasahi hujan asid
Mandi sungai hitam
Nafas udara tak seimbang molekulnya
Kerna itu satunya cara untukku berjabat dgn alam

Kalau untuk berjabat dengan alam punya pasal
Gunung pun aku daki
Bangun pagi tengok matahari kembali
Laut pun aku redah lah!

Terlalu kecil aku dimata-Nya untuk bayang berapa banyak tempat indah yang dicipta. Berjabatlah denganku alam, supaya aku tahu kebesaranNya.

Hina

Ku rindu langit cerah, pepohon hijau
Dunia kini dah tak seindah dahulu
Tapi
Sehina-hina Dunia
Lebih hina yang merosakkannya.

To The Forever Guy

If I could, I'd collect every coin thrown into lucky fountains all over the world & give them to you so you can hope again & stop being sad.

Copy every random love letters wrote, capture sceneries at unexpected places, for you to know that even if it's in B&W it's still beautiful.

I'd quote down every villain who got back up and turned phenomenal after something broke them, so you could also be a villain of your own.

Bring you around to find lonely old folks whose smile is more valuable than artificial teeth, so you know that being left alone could also bring happiness.

Drive you to a forgotten land with healthy soil, so we could plant flowers and watch them grow. So you know being dead could also give life.

Basically, I just want to make you feel alive again by showing you the same World that killed you.

If I ever get the chance to do so.

We could be villains babe, we go against darkness and screw up ghosts who haunted us.