Things I Actually Care About

So I was bored, and made this poll on Twitter on what to blog with options of; Stop The Hate, Friendships, Existence and Things I Care About. This topic got the highest vote so here it goes guys. Leave a comment if you still have wonders regarding this topic.

Moi, Afiqah have always potrayed this "I don't care about you" "Pergi mampus with that" "Malas nak fikir about everything" vibe. Probably the reason people voted this the highest because they wonder what I actually care about in this World?

Firstly guys, do know that I do care about most things in my life especially when you managed to have a spot in my mind and heart. I hate attachments because it will hurt me, and it will kill me and I hate the idea of dying inside. Hahaha if I had a phobia, it would be a phobia of commitments. I care about you, but it depends really. I don't show them off because I have this huge ego infront of me that keeps reminding me to maintain my machoness. But Alhamdulillah, I learned how to 'pergi mampus'kan my machoness lately.

I care, will forever care about my family. I would do everything to not break my family's heart. Sometimes we gotta live the life and break some rules, but yea my family trusts me. So if you see me doing stuffs a good girl shouldn't do like hanging out late at night with a group of boys, trust me, my family knows about it. However, as much as I care about my family, I can never care as much as they do for me. Since I'm the youngest in the family, I don't really feel the responsibilities upon me. I just gotta do what I gotta do; study well and make them proud. Not much to say here, I love and care about my family most, period.

I care about my friends and acquaintances. I care about you if you have done nice things for me. Sorry if I don't say a lot of "take care" and "I love you"'s, but trust me I care about you and I show it in different kind of ways so you better pay attention. Also done here.

I care about what people think of me, I do. I have this ideologies in my head about the things I like and dislike on how people act, so I try my best and keep reminding myself to not do those things. It kills me a bit when I realize the ironic things I've done in life. If you're Anith Farhana or Ain Syahiera or Iffah Diyana, you probably know a few things I control. Nevertheless, I care about my personality so much because I hate it when people say I've changed. Cause really guys, I haven't changed much. If you're my friend from primary school, high school idk anywhere else, I am still the Afiqah you know. I love the idea of Afiqah people keep telling me, so I try my best to keep this authenticity LOL. Sumpah I suck talking about this topic hahahaha

Since I care about my family, I also care about my studies. But not as much as everyone else because I don't know how to give my 100% in anything I do. Someone actually used this idiom to me "Jack of all trades, master of none" and I couldn't agree more. I have commitment issues kay, and I want to do everything I want to learn everything. Still finding myself, so please don't judge. I may not be an A or A+ student, but I love studying and that is good enough for me. 

Ummmmm what else do I care about, probably a bit of the World. It saddens me nak mati when I can see the sense of humanity in a society slowly dissapearing. The countries in the midst of wars, sorry I am ignorant but I don't know how to help and it breaks my heart. Even domination of powers and dictatorship and the things that are happening in Malaysia currently, already breaks my heart. Not gonna continue this topic cause tak macho if I cry bye (If I have time and idea to write on this topic, I will in the future). I care about the World so much that I plant the seed of hope in my mind, thinking that the world isn't as bad as it perceives to be. That it will get better, that everything happens for a reason.

Honestly, I have more of the things I don't care about than the things I do. Basically, all of the above sums up this post. You can always ask me random questions on my ask.fm/afiqahmohammedisa if you have any other wonders regarding this.

Oh yea, I swear I don't care if you don't like me if you have no reason to do so. If you do have an argument or advise or reminder for me to be better so that you would stop hating me, just tell. I will try my best to accept it with an open heart. Thanks.

Sorry if this isn't satisfying. Still training myself to blog. And this topic is so hard because I DONT CAAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.