Why do we always read some text in a different idea than how it was supposed to be read and react instantly and go crazy, but realise hours or days later when you reread it that it was really nothing? I've had this problem for years, I'm bad at translating a text and how it's supposed to sound. That's why I prefer a face to face, real life conversations. I feel the need to see face reactions and a persons eagerness and how their lips move when they speak, how their muscles work the emotions they express without them realising. For the 100000th time, I'm telling you that I love realness.
Back in my high school days, I have always got into a social media fight with my guy friends just because I read what they wrote in a meanier tone. Or because I assume too much, and then react and then regret. But as I grow older I have learnt how to stay calm and take time to understand criticisms given and all the other things that comes in ny way.
Love, too has always complicate my mind. Sometimes I question myself whether it was my fault to be reading it in that way and make assumptions, or if it was really meant to be mraning like how I was reading it, or that person said it with no intention to insert whatever confusion I end up having? I don't know. I hate blurry pictures when it comes to this subject. I hate wasting my time. I hate having my mind occupied by the things I know will not last. They say live the moment, I say live the moment all the time but I just can't help saving myself from getting my knees bleed and my mind blocked and my heart crushed. To fall is to feel the adrenalines and whether you are saved or you will die, you will never know.
And it's May 2016, but I'm still arranging my bricks to make my walls higher and higher. I'm sorry, I don't want to be told of my unworthiness.
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