Sunday, October 11, 2015

BIRTHDAY PRANK

To every single person who wished my birthday today. First things first, today is not my birthday. I was born on the 20th October 1996. Haha, come and check my IC if you wish. I know most of you fell for the 'prank' me and my friend made because you don't remember the specific date but you know my birthday is in October. Secondly, I'm sorry to every single person who thought it was real and I'm sorry for not telling. Since you guys have put so much effort and honesty to wish me along with uncountable prayers, I felt obligated to say thank you instead of telling the truth. Lagi-lagi those yang wrote very long wishes, damn I was so touched :') It was funny at first but then it hit me right in the soul hahahaha. I really didn't expect this amount of wishes because I am not a person who is particular about it. I don't really wish people's birthdays and I don't mind not being remembered on my birthday. I personally think that it is just a date. So I am also writing this to apologize to every friend who expected me to say something nice on their birthday but I did not. Guys, thank you very much for making my Sunday better. Again, I am sorry. Have a nice day and may your prayers upon me goes the same way upon you. (Don't have to wish me again later, you probably hate me already now). 

Sincerely, 
Afiqah, Afiq, Fiqs, Fiq, Afiquah, Quah, Chucky and all the other nicknames you guys gave me.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Amalgam Agnes

Tell me now, why do I still have your name in my head?
Tell me now, why sometimes I wished you're dead?
Tell me, I am not supposed to be sad
Tell me that you wished I was there 
On that cold side of your bed
Tell me you didn't take seriously everything that I said
Tell me you still plan on our lives
Together ahead
In a handmade wooden house 
Painted brick coloured red
Tell me now that you were faking all those madness
Tell me babe that you tried your best
To save what we had
Tell me now that you believe in fate
That we will get over this sadness
Leave and only remember this as our blackest
Moments
Like an artist staring for weeks at his empty canvas
Tell me now
That we both are like magnets
No matter where we go we will somehow still be attracted
Tell me that things will get better 
And one day there will be another human 
Made of us both 
Named Agnes.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Safiyyah Danial

Hello my cheeky baby niece
I'm sorry I wasn't there when you first breathe the hospital air
I was busy studying for my exams
I remember clearly those days where I had a smartphone with me all the time
(it's actually prohibited in my school)
Just to wait for pictures of you during your first days of life
When you first smile and make baby sounds
I remember so well how every time a new photo or video comes in
I would call all my bestfriends to watch it together with me
I was that excited
And I'm still excited up till today
To see you take your first step to your first tooth
and when you started running
And talking and singing
And dressing yourself wihout your parents help
How you would make random silly faces
Or say the weirdest thing I've heard
I still enjoy every single day watching you grow
and it makes my heart sinks when I see you fall sick
(I can't imagine how being a parent feels like, it must be worst)
and do know that I'm totally fine with you getting annoyed by your Maksu who likes to poke you here and there
Annoy you by hugging you too tight 
Or sometimes just bully you because I cannot resist your cuteness Safiyyah
And I'm ready to give all the attention I used to get to you
Because you sure are a blessing from Allah to your parents and this family
May you grow up to become a great woman that He pleases
InshaAllah you will make us proud always.
Ameen.

HAPPY 730 DAYS OF LIFE!
Loves, your Maksu.

(Wrote this almost a year ago, finally have a reason to post)







Wednesday, September 30, 2015

THIRTEEN

Things I learnt before turning 19;

1. Every single plan He made for us, is always the best.

2. He will take away your loved ones, only for you to meet better people.

3. It is okay to be an independent or unfriendly lady.

4. Some love stories are made up of people's expectations.

5 & 6. You might still be sticking on your 'dream guy' thing even though you know it's impossible. A guy who fell in love with me who had all the criteria of my 'dream guy' is not even what I wanted.

7. You will ditch and get ditched by your best friends and it will break you heart more than any other break ups.

8. You have only seen 0.2% of the World, we shouldn't really be ignorant towards someone older.

9. It is too early to give up on life, find something you love. If you used to be good at painting but then you meet people who are better than you, don't feel bad. Feel happy for them. You either practice to become as good as them or find something else that you love doing. (Like me, I was suddenly reading and writing awful poems)

10. Love yourself no matter what happens, love every inch of yourself.

11. Family matters. It's okay to have a crappy family, make sure you at least save a little space in your heart for them.

12. When you think of being 70 years old, you'll realise that you would probably only remember a second of this whole teenage thing.

13. Smile always, it makes people feel better.

Monday, September 28, 2015

Indecisive (1st version)

I am extremely indecisive 
I want to be a veterinarian 
I want to read law
And read minds
And make art
I love being loud
And expressive
I love meeting people
And driving alone at 3 am
I love being all by myself in the sound of birds chirping
And waves hitting the shore past midnight
And fan spinning
I adore people who can talk about politics
And paintings of elephants
And dragons singing to The Kooks
I adore people who is quiet
And calm 
And peaceful
I want to be everything that the World has to offer
I want to eat mouldy breads
Raw octopus 
Being a gastronomist who defines taste precisely
I want to eat home made over baked fudge brownies
Expensive custom made sauces from 1000 spices
I want to explore cultures by mouth and hand
I want to watch the same sun
Rise and fall
From every angle there is
I want to swim the same sea
From different countries
I want to do the World
Step by step
Alone.

Friday, September 18, 2015

Move On

Whatever happens in life
Whether you are a person who is strong at heart
Or muscular physically
Whether you are fragile when it comes to your love ones
Or you're the strength of your family
You've got to get used to letting go
Let go
Of the people you love for them to love
Let go
Of the people you love for them to be in a better place
Let go
A part of you that will never come back
Let go
Even if it still hurts when you're 45
Let go

You will be fine.

Monday, September 14, 2015

Orison

To the two angels who got the chance to bring me to this World
A woman who fed me healthiness only a mother could
A hero who taught me that life is more than just wealth
Life is all about silly faces and the sound of waves
To the both of them loves that was present during my childhood days
The beloved and missed most
I beg to the One who allowed you two to have me and those before me
For your burdens lessened 
Your sins blinded
Forgiveness all yours to have
Best of heavens the place for you precious.
InshaAllah, ameen.

Monday, September 7, 2015

Papa (Part 1)

Hello, I know I don't post much about my personal life here. Honestly I'm not good at writing blogs so for me to commit to one is to only write poems. Hahaha, most of my rants are on Twitter a.k.a my public diary [if you haven't followed yet, it's @isafiqah]. I just registered for degree. Yay, I am officially a law school student????? Haha not quite sure if that’s an exciting news or not. However, that is not what I am going to write about. I am going to write about my dad who passed away in 2006, when I was only in Primary 5. I don't talk much about my parents to people around me because I don't really like to do so. Only if they asked. The only thing you need to know is that I grew up in a beautiful family. Alhamdulillah for that, there's no greater blessing I wish to have.

Back to my beloved late father. His name was Mohammed Isa bin Mohd Arshad. He came from a kampung-KL kind of family, Hulu Kelang to be exact. My father was a very cheerful guy, always making faces always scaring off my friends with his weird jokes. I was closer to him compared to my mother (before he passed away) because my mother was a bit busier that my father. He used to fetch me after school really early only to drag me along with to pay bills and service our car ending up that I will always reach home at Maghrib jugak at the end of the day. Haha he was also a fan of movies so after school memang selalu tengok wayang pakai baju sekolah. He loved all kinds of movies, but mostly action movies like Chinese hustles or perang-perang kind of stuff. Oh yea, not to forget he bought all the Hindustan DVDs for us to watch at home. Sadly, not much that I can recall though. But for sure, I was his bestfriend. And our cat which died when I was 13, named Cat. Hahaha, or better known as Aficat because we were born in the same year.

I remember one time, he fetched me at school and he told me to look at the back seat (yang paling belakang, we used to have Kia Carens). So I literally jumped to the back because I was still tiny kan that time, to find a two-tyred bike! You have no idea how happy I was because all my friends started to naik basikal earlier than me. I was 8 that time. 1 because I didn't have a bike, 2 because I had roller blades and 3 because I loved swimming more than anything else. But since we moved to an area yang dah takde swimming pool, maybe that's why he bought me one. God it's so sad to think of it because I am not a person who really asks for stuffs because I prefer time spent together than materials. So yea, balik tu he taught me to ride the bike. It was okay awal-awal because I already got how to cycle. Suddenly I was heading down a bukit depan our housing area and worst part is that he forgot to teach me how to use the brakes!! Haha I wasn't so scared though, but to think of being a dad I bet he was soooo so worried sebab there was a big longkang down the hill. My father literally ran down, with both hands kedepan to stop the bike. Hahaha So that’s basically it for this part.

My beloved, missed, father was also a morning person. Totally my opposite. I love the idea of mornings, but I'm not motivated enough to wake up everyday because ill always end up enjoying the long night that I cannot get up the next morning. But my dad would wake us up with his tongkat or whatever ways that will annoy you. Haha most of the time he’ll just pull our toes. For subuh, and also sunrises! yaAllah, I love sunrises so much because the feeling it gives me never changes dari my dad was still around. My dad was a big fan of sunrises. He would drive or walk us idk to random places just for the sake of it. And he takes great photos too, since he used to have a Nikon and Kodak. He was also a nature person, randomly ajak pergi mandi sungai or mandi laut or camping at random places. (Papa Adik misses you so much :( especially when I'm watching amazing nature views.) Sometimes it's just the two of us because everyone else asrama or uni. Later when I have time I'll scan the scenery photos yang diambil oleh my father. No filter needed!!

I have a lottttttttttt more to talk about him. But I think I'm gonna do a part 2 for this. Some clues; train rides, historical places, food!!!, and Kuala Lumpur.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Nothing

And so I forgot how to write love poems
I forgot how to write angry poems
I forgot how to write those poems 
Ones we write when we are feeling blue
I forgot that some days will be stormy
It will take away every memory
Making them all being forgotten
I forgot how to write bubbly poems
And all kinds of poems listed under poetry
I forgot that when someone leaves
Letting go is the only option we need
When there is nothing left on due
Only nothing is left for me
What more for you.

Cracks

Better life ahead for you
My existence will never bring peace
May those broken parts be rectified
By those not of my territory
Probably ones in the East.